I am Pawnee

Ladies, gentlemen, and Lil' Sebastian lovers,

Greetings from Pawnee! Are you prepared for one of my greatest posts of all time? No? Then wait a day and come back because this deserves your full attention. This post is a tribute to the beautiful and genius work of art also known as the television series Parks and Recreation. My fellow Leslie Knope fans, this one is for you. In the time it takes you to read this post, it's likely you'll experience the following emotions: Tom's obnoxious excitement, Ron's ridiculously adorable giggle, Leslie's inspiration, April's reluctant approval, and maybe even a Jerry fart attack. I mean, I don't know what you've eaten today. It's possible.

For those of you who haven't seen this amazing and utterly dope classic comedy, I highly suggest you treat yo' self to some popcorn and a Netflix binge. I expect to see all of you in about a week, thanking me for encouraging you to participate in the greatest experience of all time. I actually envy you for being able to watch it for the first time. By no means do I dislike watching an episode for the 18th time, but I would give my left kidney to some sick person who needed one in order to be able to experience it all over again (but obviously only if that person had the magical ability to do that for me. I'm no chump.) If I can't convince you, maybe IMDB's description of the show can: "The absurd antics of an Indiana town's public officials as they pursue sundry projects to make their city a better place."

Aren't you excited?! I mean, "absurd antics" and "pursu[ing] sundry project" makes me giggle just thinking about it! There has not been a single episode that I have watched that I have been disappointed in. Oh, and this show also stars Amy Poehler. Have I convinced you yet??? No? Then you can stop reading. The exit button is on the top corner of your screen. Click it. Now. This post is for admiration, adoration, and worship only; I'll not have haters and naysayers simply indulging in my work if it's not fully appreciated. See ya later, alligator. Don't worry, you can come back when you've realized your mistake and wish to continue with this epicness. Peace.

Still with me?? Great! So what I'm going to do for the rest of the post is tell you all how I can literally (read with Chris's emphasis) relate to each of the ten characters on this show. Yes, ALL of them! That's what makes this so interesting. When we watch a television show, or a movie, or maybe even read a book, we almost always identify with one of the characters in one way or another. Either they have similar personalities, wits, struggles, or morals as we do, but in some way we find ourselves connecting to them. Often times, they manifest into our favorite character. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. What's that? You'd like me to give you some examples?! Well, if you insist.

Harry Potter - Hermoine Granger (Or, as my best friend just pointed out, I could also relate to Luna Lovegood because sometimes "you're just really out there...." I concur.)
Tangled - Pascal
The Walking Dead - Maggie Greene
Friends - Ross Gellar
Once Upon a Time - Emma Swan


I tried to pick some shows and films that majority of you may know, and obviously these are only some of the shows I watch and a small amount of characters I identify with. You can probably guess how I identify with them by just thinking about the character. But this post isn't about Harry Potter or Friends. This post is about, dare I say it, something better. As I was going through the 6 of the 7 seasons of Parks and Recreation (no I haven't finished the series yet so please don't give away any spoilers) I found myself relating to every character in some way. This blew my mind! How is it possible to relate to every character?! Especially two who are complete opposites of one another? Well, if you'll just kindly continue to read, I'll tell you.

Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson is the epitome of America. Whenever someone tells me "I am an American" I think to myself, No you're not. You're not Ron Swanson, so you're clearly not American. Honestly, I don't even have an actual definitive description of what it means to be American other than comparing it to Ron f*cking Swanson. Ron is a hardcore Libertarian who, despite working for the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department, hates the government. He'll do whatever he can to shirk his work and delegate it to someone else, because to him it's pointless. Although he'll do as little work as possible in the department, he is still the hardest working individual on this show. What kind of work, you ask? Ron would tell you it was "manly" work, real work. He can make anything and everything from a piece of wood. He's a skilled hunter, fisherman, electrician, carpenter, and plumber. If I believed in and supported society's heteronormative and hegemonic ideologies, I'd tell you that Ron was the very definition of a masculine man. But I don't, so you can infer whatever you'd like.

Now, I can't rock the dope mustache that only Ron Swanson can pull off without looking like a pedophile, nor do I eat a quarter of my weight every day in red meats. But where I see myself relating to Ron is his simplistic views on life. He doesn't like to over think anything. He knows what his "good life" looks like, and that's what he does. He makes every decision based on how happy or unhappy it's going to make him and he doesn't stress out about trivial matters. Because of this, his colleagues often seek him out for advice. While there is nothing he'd rather do less than listen to people complain about love, life, and work, Ron somehow always has the right thing to say. He's wise, and he sticks to his values. But most importantly...

 

Me too, Ron. Me too.

Tom Haverford

Tom is the very definition of obnoxious. Aziz Ansari does a phenomenal job playing the person you'd never want to work with, and the guy you'd be likely to slap if he approached you in public. I think the best way to describe Tom's personality is to liken it to a spoiled 9 year old boy in a man's body. He whines constantly, gets easily over excited, can't take no for an answer, and no one takes him seriously. He knows all the ins and outs of technology, social media, fashion, food, lingo, pop culture, celebrities, and women. He's tried every ridiculous idea he could thing of to make money, but his most successful was his Rent-A-Swag business, where he rented all of his old suits, fedoras, watches, (basically any kind of swag you can imagine) to adolescents and teens. 

Tom was actually the hardest person for me to find something in common with. Majority of the time when I saw him on the show, I wanted to reach into the screen and smack him. I'm not a violent person, but some people need a swift smack in the back of the head to try to knock some sense into them. Ask my brother, I've done it to him on occasion. Isn't that the job of an older sister?? Sense-smacking? It is never okay for someone to be as obnoxious as Tom. How does he not realize he's making a fool of himself?
However, at some point during the series there's an episode where he and Donna (see below) celebrate their annual Treat Yo Self day. On this day, they do whatever they want to pamper themselves: shopping sprees, spa visits, accessorizing, etc. They don't care about how much money they spend, they just do whatever they want to relax and have fun. Lately, I've been trying to make sure I indulge myself every once in a while. Obviously not to the same extent that they do because I'm a broke college student. But I'll treat myself to that Starbucks coffee, or an extra piece of chocolate, or even a 30 minutes homework break to watch Parks and Rec bloopers or have a small dance party. Amidst his asinine behavior, I've found that I can relate to his selfishness, even if it is on a much smaller scale. Over time I've come to realize that it's 100% okay to be selfish at times, because life's no fun if it's all work and no play. It's important to do self-care. So now every time I find myself debating whether or not I should spend that extra few dollars or take a little time to have a break and read, all the convincing I need is the little voice inside my head to say "Treat Yo' Self." 

Donna Meagle

Tom and Donna are best friends in the office. Their love of pop culture, social media, celebrities, and, quite frankly, themselves, make them very similar to one another. But Donna differs in that she's classy, sophisticated, and confident. She likes the finer things in life and will never settle for anything less. While this still sounds like Tom, Donna's style is classy and elegant, where Tom's is ridiculous and ludicrous. Donna also loves nothing more than good gossip, especially when it comes to her own sex life or the relationships between people in the department. She may not love her work, but sooner or later she'll get it done, and she'll get it done right. She doesn't take any shit from anyone, and she is unapologetic and unabashedly shameless. While she can appear to be standoffish at times, she's always there to provide comfort and encouragement. If there is a lack of leadership in the department, or if an event or program is in need of command, Donna's the go-to person to get shit done.

I'm not elegant, nor am I classy. Those who know me know I'm pro-belching, live the t-shirt and jeans life, and I hate drama. But Donna and I are alike in that we both don't care what others think of us. I'll admit it took me a while to get to the point where I didn't care if everyone liked me. I used to think that in order to be happy with myself, I had to make other people like me. If they didn't like me, then I was failing at some part of myself. Within the last few years, I've realized just how absurd that is. It's the biggest pile of crap I've ever believed, aside from that time I was convinced I was going to become best friends with Xena: Warrior Princess. Right now, I'm happy with who I am. Why should I care if other people are? This is my life to live, not theirs. I'm not going to apologize for who I am anymore because I simply do not need to. Ain't nobody got time for that kind of negativity in their life! Donna's take-it or leave-it attitude shows confidence and self-appreciation which is something to be admired. And, obviously.....

Ben Wyatt

My dear readers, meet Ben Wyatt -- sweetheart, nerd, and dork extraordinaire. When he was first introduced to the show, he wasn't the most likeable character. He always played by the rules and never allowed for flexibility. His character didn't have much depth, and he didn't get along with most of the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department. When he was only 18, he ran for mayor of his hometown and actually won the election. But as anticipated of any 18 year old with that much responsibility on their shoulders, his lack of experience, knowledge, and guidance ended in failure. Complete and utter destruction. He practically ruined the economy and finances of the town after being in office for only a short time. Don't worry, though. He was only removed from office and basically banished. No big deal. He began working as an accountant and traveling from city to city for his work. He never really felt like he belonged anywhere until he landed in Pawnee. It was there in little ol' Pawnee, Indiana where finally found a place to fit in, a place where he could find his confidence again, to grow and develop as a person. Ben also began to grow in the hearts of the viewers and the Parks department, especially in the heart of a special someone. But I won't spoil that for you. Just know that this couple has the most adorable relationship you'll ever see. Those of you who know, please feel free to raise your hands and cheer in agreement. Or give a little squeal of delight. Or both.
While I was never elected mayor of my hometown, I was definitely placed in positions where I had too much responsibility for someone my age. Some battles I won, some I lost, but I learned something from each of them. Now I have somewhere where I feel like I belong, and it's allowed me to grow and develop into the person I am proud to be today. I'm a total dork, a big softy, and I still play by the rules. Also like Ben, I work best with a structured schedule and organization. Often times, Ben is the only one in the office sane enough to make decisions for the good of the department. When everyone else's judgement is clouded by excessive amounts of caffeine, extreme amounts of stress, or pure stupidity, Ben is always level-headed and trying to keep everyone in line. I find myself giving the same look that Ben does when he's required to be the responsible adult in the room quite often. Do you know the look I'm talking about? The one that practically screams "Why me?!" "Dear God AGAIN???" "I give up." or, my personal favorite "What. The. HELL."
No? You don't know that look? Well, maybe this will help.

Jerry/Gary/Larry/Terry Gergich

Jerry/Gary/Larry/Terry Gergich is, simply put, the office failure. His name has changed so often throughout the show that I'm pretty sure no one knows his real name anymore, so for the sake of keeping this post simple, I'm just going to refer to him as Jerry since that was used for the first few seasons of the series. If anything goes wrong, there's a 981483920% chance it's his fault.  While he means well, Jerry just can't do anything right. It's kind of sad how no one likes him, and at times you want to feel bad for the guy, you really do. But other times you'll find yourself screaming "DAMMIT JERRY" right along with everyone else. Also heard frequently in the office is "Ewwww Jerry did you fart again?" "Jerry you suck!" and "NO, Jerry! No!" Even though he's constantly put down, always messing up, and clearly never succeeding, Jerry loves his job. He comes back each and every day with exuding positivity and wearing a smile on his face. Any insult, any negative remark, and any rejection just seems to bounce off of his rotund body without making a dent. He never gives up. Jerry always wants to help in any way he can, and he's a big emotional softy. If everyone wasn't so used to hating him and putting him down, they'd realize just what a great asset and friend he is to have in the department.
Do we all make mistakes? Yes, of course. Although I doubt it competes with the number of Jerry's screw ups, everyone fails at times. I identify with Jerry's perseverance, though. While I do get upset by some of my epic fails, I have learned to take them in stride. I can't be perfect, so why not be perfectly imperfect? I take each screw up, no matter if it's small or of disastrous proportions, and I make it into a learning experience. We've all done stupid things before. While I may never have singed off my coworker's eyebrows, or painted a mural of a nude female centaur that "unintentionally" resembles my boss, it doesn't mean I haven't completely embarrassed myself or another person in some other way. But the important thing to remember is that life isn't always going to work out the way we planned. We have to allow for mistakes, and forgive ourselves for it when they happen.

DAMMIT JERRY NOT THE COFFEE

April Ludgate

April is by far one of the most easiest characters to relate to on this show. She is the epitome of pessimism, and also probably psychotic, but she's truly fantastic. She started as the intern in the office but was eventually hired on into a full-time position in the department. April hates just about everything: people, work, emotions, friends, politics, human connection. She's super weird, and super amazing. Her hobbies include creative insults, plotting to kill people, horror-themed party planning, dating gay men, being horrible to people, and doing absolutely nothing with no one. If she can find a way to ruin someone's day, for her own entertainment, she'll plan her entire day around it. April refuses to show affection towards anyone in the office, unless it's her husband (and I'm not going to tell you who that is because, again, no spoilers). She doesn't believe in having much human connection, and would rather live in a town surrounded by dogs than people. I gotta say, I definitely feel that same way a lot of days.
I'm a pretty positive person, but I often find myself giving in to April's pessimism. With the world we live in today, I strongly believe that a lot of people suck. Human beings are greedy and selfish. The world would be a lot better if people treated one another like dogs treat us. Think about it -- they love unconditionally and don't judge us for our flaws. I'm not saying we should go up and lick strangers in the face, because gross. Human decency, people. But I get frustrated with people who stand by and do nothing, or will try to achieve power and trample people below them to get what they want. While April typically only sees the bad in people, I do see some good. I work with some amazing leaders, activists, and advocates who want nothing more than to make a difference in the world. For those people, I am grateful. They give me hope. However, people like us are far and few between. There are times when I would like to do nothing more than to block out the rest of the world and give up. It'd be so much easier. But for better or for worse, that's not who I am. The following statement also resonates with me on a spiritual level.

Chris Traeger

Where there's a morbid pessimist in a group, it's only right for there to be an overwhelming optimist too. That's where Chris Traeger comes in. Everything that comes out of his mouth is said with such gusto and positivity, it's hard not to be simultaneously motivated and annoyed by him. Chris is a mega health freak, a total germ-a-phobe, and an exercise enthusiast. There are times when Chris's positive energy is too overwhelming, and I (along with people in the department, I assume) want to just punch him in the face. Sometimes it's good to sulk, and it can allow people to feel better after they've taken some time to express sadness and negativity. When I'm around people who are too positive about everything, I have to leave. No one can possibly be that happy, that energetic, and that motivational all. the. fricken. time. No way. I call bullshit. And in a way, I was right - Chris fails. There comes a point in the series where he becomes depressed, but he still tries to be positive about it. When I say "tries," I mean he says horribly depressing things with a upbeat and positive voice. It's incredibly annoying. JUST BE SAD, DAMMIT. Stop crying with a smile on your face. That's not normal, that's not motivational, that's not inspiring. It's just creepy. Really, really creepy.
I enjoy being positive and uplifting. Despite what I just said before, I look on the bright side of just about everything in life. I believe there is a silver lining to every situation. If I didn't, I probably would have given up on the world by now. When other people are down, I do my best to point out what they can do to see the problem in a different light. I love to be the bearer of good news, and to be the person who can hopefully brighten someone's day with a compliment or a little pick-me-up. But I also know it's important to recognize sadness and let people experience it. You're never going to know happiness, true happiness, if you don't also experience sadness and stress. I'll also admit to being guilty of trying to ignore those very emotions by keeping busy to avoid thinking about them. Hey, I'm not perfect. Neither is Chris. But we both like to stay positive. Which is why Chris and I do the following:

Ann Perkins

Ann is basically the mom of the department. She's not officially an employee of the Pawnee Parks and Recreation department, but she spends just about the same amount of time there as everyone else. Ann, like Ben, is typically level-headed and tries to keep everyone in control. As a registered nurse, she literally takes care of the department, but she offers much more than helping with their medical needs. She's the best friend to the leader of the pack, Leslie Knope (who you'll read about momentarily because I saved the best for last) and is a true pal to everyone else. Well, everyone except April, which should come as no surprise. Ann's never a phone call away from being there to support and guide a friend when they need it. Even though she doesn't work for the government, she plays just as vital of a role in keeping the Parks and Rec department running smoothly as the rest of the employees. It's important to have the emotional support of friends, as well as people who are ready and willing to volunteer and step in at a moment's notice. To quote the amazing and wise Leslie Knope, Ann is "as respected as Mother Theresa, as powerful as Stalin, and as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher."
Ann's a leader. While she may not have an official title or position in the department, she should. I suggested "Department Cheerleader and Den-Mother," but I haven't heard back from the Pawnee government office yet. I'm sure they're just swamped with work since it's almost summer and they just haven't gotten to it yet. I'll keep you posted on their response.
Like Ann, I like to be everyone's biggest cheerleader. My friends are some of the most important people in my life, and there's nothing I enjoy more than spending time with them, reminding them of how amazing they are, and being there for them when they need it. If I know my friends are going to have a stressful day or a stressful week, I make sure to take the time to let them know how appreciative I am of them and how proud I am of their accomplishments. Even if they screw up, they need to know that it's not the end of the world and it doesn't reflect on their character. Everyone needs their own personal cheerleader, and we all need a little support and love from time to time. It also makes me feel better when I can offer that support to my friends. Whether it's a text, a hug, or a phone call, whatever I can do to be there for them I'm on it. Friendship is important. I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am in life today without my friends. But also, as an introvert, I think Ann has the right idea when it comes to life...

Andy Dwyer

Andy is my favorite character on this show. If it's possible to be the comic relief on an already comedic show, then that's Andy's role. Whenever he shows up on screen, you know you're about to experience some serious laughter -- the kind where your abs hurt and you also have to rewind about thirty seconds because you didn't hear what happened since you were laughing too loud. If you haven't seen Chris Pratt in Parks and Recreation but you have watched Guardians of the Galaxy, Andy is basically the same character as Peter Quill (Star Lord) but like 82% more childish and incompetent. He also started as a temporary character on the show and wasn't supposed to be a part of the cast after the first season, but when the director and producers saw just how invaluable Andy's character was, they decided to keep him around. Everyone in the department knows that Andy can't handle much responsibility, but he's a hard worker and a total goofball. Whenever he does something, it's done with enthusiasm and a skip in his step. Andy is so proud of everything he accomplishes, whether or not it's done correctly. He's so easily excited and entertained, but also very easily distracted. He has his own band most commonly called Mouse Rat, although the name of it has changed a variety of times. Andy's aliases included FBI Agent Burt Macklin, Brother Nature, and child-hero Johnny Karate.
I absolutely love a good laugh. Whenever my friends are having a rough day, the first thing I try to do is cheer them up by making them laugh. Tactics include: hilarious YouTube videos, ridiculous singing, horrible puns, impromptu interpretive dance, and sharing a story of when I made a complete fool of myself. Typically, the better mood I'm in, the more of a fool I'm likely to make of myself. And the best part is, I come to enjoy being quirky. As Amy Poehler once said, "There's a certain power in looking silly and not caring that you do." This is so accurate. When people are serious all the time, there's no real fun to be had. While there is a time and a place to be goofy, I'm a firm believer that those times and those places should be more frequent. Whenever my sister and I would get the giggles, unable to control our silliness and our good mood was unstoppable, my grandma would always ask us "What did you two eat for dinner?! Chicken ass?!?!" To this day, neither of us have ever eaten the buttox of a chicken, nor do we know how this would induce a a fit of laughter and hilarity, but if one of you readers has studied the correlation between consuming the gluteus maximus of fowl and laughter, please let me know. I'm incredibly curious. I see myself in Andy because I don't think there needs to be a reason for someone to be goofy. Case and point:

Leslie Knope

I saved the best for last. There is never enough words to describe the stunning, awe-inspiring, one of a kind Leslie Knope. I actually have a shirt that says "Be the Leslie Knope you want to see in the world." It's my mantra. One day, I aspire to be as amazing as she is. Yes, I'm fully aware she is a fictional character. But this does not mean, in any way, that she is any less inspirational. Leslie is the leader that all people should strive to be. She sees exactly what's wrong with the community, and dare I say the world, and motivated by nothing but passion she strives for a solution. Leslie pours her heart and her soul into her work, and everyone knows it. She puts her job and her passion to create community and social change before anything else. Her happiness, her love life, her health, her sleep, and even her sanity all come after her job. I'm not saying this is the healthiest way to live, but for someone like me, it's impressive and inspirational. Along with her dedication to her job in the department and eventually in political office, Leslie cherishes her relationships. She created a calendar with all the important anniversaries, events, and life-moments she has had with her friends; she never fails to be there for them when they need it; she is their biggest cheerleader and knows exactly what to do to cheer them up. Even during the times when being a best friend meant letting them go, she did what was best for them.
Leslie Knope is my spirit animal. If she was a real person, I'd do whatever I could to befriend her and work with her because she knows just how to get things done. Throughout the series, she has faced so many different forms of adversity and challenges while trying to do what was best for the community. At times, the entire city would turn against her, but she never gave up the fight. When everything would seem completely hopeless, Leslie would still be at the front of the line, pushing her way through and doing what she thought was right. Sometimes she failed and sometimes she won. But no matter what she faced, she put forth 150% of her effort. Being a good leader sometimes means learning how to fail and pick yourself back up again. No matter how many losses she had, she always came back stronger. Leslie's the leader that I hope to become one day. She's extremely organized, effective, inspirational, positive, caring, thoughtful, and motivated. She does everything that she does not because she has to, but because she wants to. She cares about people enough to dedicate her life to making a positive difference in the world. Despite the people who oppose her and who challenge and fight her every move out of spite (I'm looking at you, Councilman Jamm) she never gives up. Her fight is too important to be swayed and discouraged by haters. She has the right people supporting her, and that's what counts; her goal is what counts; and her impact and influence are what counts.
As a leader on campus, I've struggled a lot with many of the things Leslie has. People are apathetic, they take the easy way out, and they don't have the motivation or energy to fight for what's important. Still, I keep fighting because I believe what I'm working towards is more important than people realize, and that one day I'm going to make a difference. During a particularly stressful week, I had gone to vent to my highly motivational professor Dr. Jana McAuliffe who shares in my obsession with Parks and Recreation. Instead of quietly listening to what I had to say, and then giving me some general and cliche piece of advice such as "hang in there!" or "you can do it!" she told me exactly what I needed to hear: "Even the great Leslie Knope had had her struggles, but no one ever questioned her effectiveness to lead." Thank you, Jana. That keeps me going.
Leslie Knope, you're my hero. Thanks for showing me anything is possible, and that there's always a reason to keep being a badass leader.

So that was all of them. All ten main characters of the beauty that is Parks and Recreation. While I still have one season left to watch, I know that I will never watch a television show that can effectively inspire me to be the best person I can be as much as the characters on this show has. I hope that now you've learned a little bit more about this work of brilliance, you'll go and watch it -- either for the first time or for the 19378th. When you do watch it, or any television show, I now challenge you to find as many characters as possible that you can relate to and identify with. Why limit yourself to connecting with just one character?! Where's the fun in that??? Instead, find yourself in all of them! I can almost guarantee that you'll fall in love with the show that much more and you'll also enjoy watching it so much more when you do.

Before I sign off, I'd like to end this post with a special tribute to Pawnee's own Lil' Sebastian. You're greatly missed, and Pawnee's not the same without you. You'll always be 5,000 candles in the wind.

Yours truly,

Jackie and the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department

Be My Friend

Hello friends! (Pun intended)

While I had a few days of vacation where I don't have any responsibilities to be doing, I thought I'd take full advantage of that free time to blog. That's really the only reason you're getting two postings in two days. I'm fully aware that I only posted ONE in the entirety of 2014, and now 2015 rolls around and there's two, back to back, within the first few weeks. Settle down, brain. You'll have plenty of writing to do once the semester starts again. But, while I have the time and the creative energy, why not use it?

In my last post, I mentioned 7 key ways in which you could become a happier person. If you haven't read it, I suggest taking look. It's a pretty good one. In it, I said that one way you can ensure being happier is by making sure the friends you surround yourself with are positive influences on your life. I wholeheartedly believe that a friendship is the most important relationship you will ever build in your life. Now, I know a few of you reading this may debate me and argue a romantic relationship is more important. You build your life with that significant other, maybe start a family, own a house, grow old and die together. True (for some). However, don't you start that relationship with a friendship? Shouldn't you marry or be with one of your best friends? If you answered 'no' to either of those questions, you need to get out of that relationship. Seriously, pack your bags. Grab your dog. Run. 

Anyways, my post got me thinking. I know who I choose to surround myself with. I know what qualities I search for in a friend, and just how important they are to my happiness. Not all of my friends are the same. On the contrary, each of my really close friends are vastly different from one another, and each just as important to me as the last. Below, I came up with a list of 10 different types of friends that tend to fit the description of just about anyone else's friend groups. Do you know which friend you are? Or, what's been even more fun for me, figuring out which of my friends fit the following types. Oh, and I figured out how to put in images and gifs. They're all hilarious, as I hope you'd expect nothing less of me. Have fun!

The Optimist

We all have that one person we can always rely on for a bit of positivity. You usually go to this person when you're feeling down and need a little bit of "glass half full" talk in order to boost your spirits again. In the face of stress and anxiety, you're personal Chris Traeger sees the silver lining. However, there's no doubt that you avoid this person in times where you just really want to be cranky, because goddammit sometimes we all like to sulk. Hey, that's okay. Everyone needs cranky days, even the optimist. Yet somehow, they're really good at hiding their own irritability. I'm usually pretty optimistic. I like to find the good out of every negative situation. I embrace critique and enjoy a good challenge. But I am definitely no Chris Traeger, as that would literally take too much of my energy. Please laugh at my reference.

The Pessimist

If you have an optimist in your friend group, chances are there's also a pessimist. I think it's fitting that Parks and Recreation has such perfect characters that are complete opposites of one another and relevant to this post. Wait. Who am I kidding? I would have found a way to reference this brilliant show no matter what. Some days, I just really want to be April Ludgate. I find pessimism to be fascinating. Forget the description "the glass is half empty" because that doesn't quite seem to cover it. It's pretty boring. Let's spice it up and go with "this isn't even glass it's a plastic Solo cup filled with unfiltered tap water and look, there's a bug floating in it. I asked for coffee." Pessimistic people don't always have a good outlook on certain situations or maybe even on life, but this doesn't mean they don't enjoy it. They just have a different way of looking at things, and tend to get their motivation from wanting improvement. Pessimists offer a very different perspectives on a situation than optimists do, and I find it useful to get both inputs. I like to look at the best and the worst, and go from there. The best part is, when you're crabby and need someone to vent to, pessimists will be right there complaining with you. It's like a tag team of glorious negativity. I tend to need about an hour of this every week in order to be generally happy for the rest of the 7 days.

The Soulmate

Your friend soulmate is the person you know you want to be with for the rest of your life, but not romantically. You two are so close that people may start to question whether or not you're actually dating. Admit it, you've probably thought about how much easier it would be to just call it quits on dating other people and just stick with your bestie. I have. The unfortunate part of that is that either one or both of you are heterosexual. This soulmate is the person you can sit and cuddle with without the awkward pressure of taking cuddling to the next level. Hugs are a constant necessity, and being separated for any extended amount of time is pretty much unbearable. You two bicker like and old married couple, but never hesitate to send I LOVE YOUUUUUU texts multiple times a day. You tell each other what needs to be heard, even if you know they don't want to hear it. If one of you are also in a romantic relationship, that significant other probably gets jealous and questions who you're really in a relationship with. Like, frequently. I've got my friend soulmate, and she's the best. SHOUTOUT to my Milkdud! <3 Sketti

The Person

Similar to the soulmate, you also can't imagine living without your person. They're the one you can always count on to be there for you in your worst and best times. They understand all of your complicated emotions and just how to deal with them as soon as they walk into the room. Oh, you're pissed off? Here's a funny youtube video! You need some peace and quiet to decompress and think? No worries, I'll just be over here binge watching The Walking Dead. You're depressed and need a hug? Come here, buddy! You bombed a test? Here's some ice-cream, let me help you study for the next one. The inside jokes are never ending, you watch all the same shows, and sing on the top of your lungs to the same songs. Currently, that song is "Agony" from the new hit motion picture Into the Woods. You have horrible nicknames for each other, and when you use them in public people probably think you hate each other. Teasing insults are frequent. When you're apart, Skype and FaceTime are a necessity, as are visits. Hell, you'll even move in with their family. Here's my shoutout to you, Merlin! AKA: Anna, Butthead, Fart-face, Buddy, Merl-haegen, CARRRRRL, and Merls. There are more, but they may not be appropriate to write for public viewing.

The Socially Awkward yet Fantastic One

Bonus that this is a gif! Luna is the perfect example of this type of friend. They're loyal a fault, and truly amazing. Some people really don't understand their sense of humor or their quirky personality, but you think they're just the greatest. They may do and say things that truly sound very strange, but you cherish them. You can't wait to see what they'll do next. The best part is, they don't care what others think of them. They do not limit themselves by conforming to society's hegemonic expectations of "normalcy." In fact, they excel and thrive in the abnormal and challenging the dominant ideology.  I have several socially awkward friends, most of whom I probably wouldn't have befriended in the past when I actually cared what people thought of me. Then I grew up and realized society sucks and these people are awesome. There are times when I can definitely be that awkward-turtle of a friend, and I embrace those moments. Why? Because it's FUN! Stand out, do your own thing, and screw judgements. The fact is, quirky people are amazing.

The Flirt

We all have that one friend, or maybe more than one, that likes to go out and have a good time. They know how to work the room and hone in on the hotties. Unafraid and never bashful, they shamelessly flirt with others and are usually up for a hookup. If you're the target of their flirting, don't get too attached. They aren't really looking for a romantic relationship yet. They like to keep it loose and have fun, but there is nothing wrong with that. You probably get jealous of how easy it is for them to pick up people and want to take a class from them on the art of socialization. If you are ever looking for some help meeting new people, this is the friend you go to.

The Comedian

Alright Mr. Funny Guy, we all know who you are. You can never pass up on cracking a joke or bringing some humor to an awkward situation.  In fact, most of the time you like to create the awkwardness. This is the friend that will always be able to make you laugh, even when you don't want to. From slap-stick comedy to raunchy and inappropriate jokes, their supply of wit is endless. Class clowns ain't got nothing on this friend of yours. Warning: the laughs they try to get may come at your own expense. If you're not in the mood to get teased, you should probably steer clear of them for a while. I can never pass up on the opportunity to be around the funny guy or gal. Since I'm assuming almost everyone who actually reads this post knows me, you know how much I love laughing. I probably laugh at things I shouldn't, and during times that should be a little more serious. But I can't help it. Potential suiters, please take notes: humor is the way to my happiness, and the way to my heart. If you get me laughing, and I mean the bust-a-gut and tears streaming down my face kind of laughing, there's a pretty good chance I'm keeping you around. I suggest you do the same! Hey, you may even develop a set of six-pack abs from being around the funny ones. Nothing cures a bad mood like a good laugh, and there's endless amounts of joy when you're around this friend!

The Caring One

The caring one is like the 'mom' of your friend group. They're typically the one you go to when you have a bad day and need a empathetic and genuine hug. They will check in with you often to make sure you're doing okay, and offer any kind of help they can give. They are supportive of your decisions and give you their advice. If you need someone to vent to who will really listen, this friend is always ready to give you their undivided attention for as long as you need it. When they see you're having a rough time, they'll immediately want to find some way to cheer you up and take your pain away. Part of their nurturing nature means that they will never forget to remind you just how important you are to them and encourage you to be your best self. They see your full potential and want you to reach it. This is something I try to do to at least one person every day. You never know who's going through a rough time and who needs a little extra motivation to keep going strong. I know how much it means to me when my friends check in and send me inspiring texts like this one:

 But in all seriousness, they know how to show you they care. It may be through simple messages that say "Hang in there buddy" or "You're amazing!" or it could be by showing up at your door unannounced with a cup of coffee just for the hell of it. Either way, you know they love you.

The Extrovert

Extroverts are fantastic people. They're constantly looking for the next exciting thing to go to; parties, sporting events, concerts, shindigs around town, etc. If they can't find any, they'll make their own. Extroverts aren't afraid to meet new people, and love to talk and speak their mind. For introverts like myself, sometimes this can be utterly exhausting and even overwhelming. As a social introvert, I enjoy being with people and having a good time, but I also love my quiet time and need to be by myself in order to recharge my energy battery. Extroverts, on the other hand, get their energy from other people.  They can't spend too much time on their own before craving to be around more people. Some like to be the center of attention, others not so much. But wherever the action is, that's where you'll find them. Living with an extrovert (shout out to Val!) can be challenging for both the introvert and the extrovert, but awesome nonetheless. The challenge comes in when the extrovert wants to go out and do things after a long day to regain their energy, where the introvert desperately needs time alone to decompress. It'll take some time to get used to each other's needs, but once you figure out a good system it's a blast!

The Reliable One            

Reliable friends are to be truly cherished. You can count on them to be there for you at the drop of a hat (which is a weird expression to me. Who drops hats? Why are people running to get them? If people are trying to convey a sense of urgency and a fast response, they should change the expression to "at the drop of a baby.") They want nothing more than to help you succeed in whatever you're doing, and will do anything to help make that happen. It's 2am and you're having a panic attack? They'll pick up the phone and, if possible, drive to wherever you are to calm you down. You've been out drinking and need a ride home? They're already on their way. These are the friends who always keep their promises and will never leave you hanging. Even if they have a thousand other things to do, you become their first priority if you need something. Friends like this will put your happiness before their own, give everything and expect nothing in return, and always be there for you.


Well, there you have it. The 10 types of friends that will likely show up in your friend group at some point or another. Sadly, some friends come and go, and that's okay. Some people are meant to be in your life forever, while others are there for just a short while. People change and grow apart, life goes on, and new friendships are formed. However, friends in general are a constant. If someone really means so much to you, and you to them, you figure out a way to make it work. You'll never let distance, or relationships, or careers, or any other kind of complication get between you and your bud. Life happens, and friends are there to help you through it. To end this post, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes about friendship.

Your friend,

Jackie

Psssssst....Your Happiness is Showing!

Well hello there!!

Did the title of this post attract you? Good. That was my goal. Believe it or not, I actually try to plan these things. I've been really looking forward to writing today's blog post for a long time. It's been a quite a while since my last post, but I wanted to give this one a lot of thought so it could be my best one thus far. As you hopefully gleamed from the title, this post is going to be about happiness: being it, recognizing it, chasing it, keeping it, loving it. It makes me happy writing it, and I sure hope it makes you happy to read it (or at least leads you to finding said happiness).

There is one question that has baffled mankind for, well, a long long time. The infamous "What is the meaning of life?" has been pondered time and time again, and everyone has a different answer. In my short 20 years of existence, I've realized that there really isn't one answer to that question. Life isn't a science; two plus two might equal four, but a good job, a family, and lots of money doesn't always equal a good life. This makes it impossible for this question to have only one answer. Everyone is different, so everyone's life has a different meaning. I mean, sure -- this question is usually asked in more of an existential manner with the hope of there being some sort of "larger than life" response on the whole. But in reality, there is no single answer that will satisfy the needs of everyone. Alright, Jackie, so how does this have anything to do with happiness? Here's what I'm getting at: I may not know what the meaning of life is, but I am going to be so bold as to say that happiness should be a main goal. I know, I know. How dare I make such a bold statement?? If you read the rest of this post, I promise you by the end of it you'll agree with me, and even be on your own way to finding and recognizing the happy in your own life. 

When it comes to being happy, there's only one person in this entire world that can make you feel this wonderful, lovely, amazing, splendiferous, all-encompassing feeling...YOU. Read that again. Go on, I'll wait. Did you do it? Okay, now read it one more time. No one else knows how you feel when you're happy, and no one else knows the exact way to make you feel that way. Only you can bring yourself happiness. You know how the pirates code is more of just a guideline than a rule book? (Yes, I just referenced Pirates of the Caribbean. You're welcome.) Well, that's what this post is going to be for you. I can't give you the exact directions you need to be happy because I'm not you. I'm me. What I can do, though, is suggest small ways in which you can embrace your happiness by finding it and holding on to it. 

What makes me so qualified  to give you advice on happiness, you ask? Great question. I've spent a better part of my 20 years of life believing I was a happy person. I have amazing friends, a loving family, and countless other reasons to be happy. But the truth is, I knew something was missing. It wasn't true happiness. I wasn't happy with who I was as a person, and I had no idea how to fix it. To add to that, I couldn't fix "it" because I didn't know what "it" was that needed to be fixed. Sure, I struggled with the typical adolescent/teenage anxieties: body image, relationships (or lack of them), family drama, figuring out who I was, etc. But this was all normal, and I bet a majority of my unhappiness came from those things that could have only been overcome by maturation and growth. So far, I have found that theory to be true. Don't get me wrong, though. I definitely experienced happiness and joy and love an all other marvelous positive nouns. However, in the last year or so, my life's journey has taken me on a little adventure, and it's showed me what true happiness is. I'm not talking about the "I've had a really good day, and can't stop smiling" type of happy (of which there are many days like that). I mean the kind of happy where no matter what kind of day I have, I love my life. I'm happy with myself and who I've become; I'm happy in my friendships and my relationships; I'm happy with the people I surround myself with and who I am when I'm with them; I'm just...happy. Are there parts about myself I wish could change or want to be better? Absolutely. Do I have bad days where a really good cry just needs to happen? Definitely. Am I struggling with inner demons that want to suppress my happiness and take over? Unfortunately, yes. The difference between who I used to be, and who I am now, is that I've come to accept these challenges and I face them head on with the knowledge that I'm not going to let them change who I've become. They may bring my mood down for a day or two, but my happiness level doesn't waver. In fact, it's what brings my mood back up again. I guess it could be also be described as more of an inner peace, if you'd prefer. So does that qualify me enough to right this post? Maybe, maybe not. But either way, I'm doing it.

Okay, now on to the part that you're probably going to be the most interested in. How to find your own happiness, your own inner peace. Like I said earlier, I can't give you the exact step-by-step layout to being happy. Some of my tips may work for you, some may not. These are just guidelines, little tidbits that I came to realize in retrospect. Now, it's important that I make one thing abundantly clear: these are not just do it once, check it off the list, and be done with it kinds of tasks. They take time, practice, and perseverance. You have to work at your happiness daily if you want it to stick around. The trick is to make a habit out of doing what makes you happy. So without further ado, here 7 things I have found that makes me incredibly happy.

1. Get Rid of Negativity

Fact: you're never going to be happy if you hold on to any of the negative aspects of your life. Negativity can come in a variety of forms, shapes, and sizes. 
1. You've got people -- anyone who makes you feel like a schmuck, that suck the excitement and joy out of your day, and who want you to change who you are because they don't agree. You know the type. 
2. You've got attitude -- yours and other people's. If you face any situation with a bad attitude, you're never going to see the good that can happen from it. 
3. You've got social media. Yep,  you read that correctly. Social media can add a ton of negativity to your life. If you scroll through your newsfeed, or your blogs, etc, and are constantly seeing something that makes you feel incredibly upset (or even a little irritated) get rid of the source. You're on social media to be entertained and, dare I say it, even inspired, not to deal with belittling drama. 
These aren't the only forms of negativity, but you'll know other kinds when you see and feel it. Okay, here's what I want you to do with those negative parts of your life: squish it. Imagine it's a scary, creepy, gross little bug that you found in your room. It's not the harmless kind that is more scared of you than you are of it. No, this bug will attack you any chance it gets, sucking the good part of your life right out of you. If you let it live, it'll hide from you and strike when you're least expecting it. You have to get rid of it once and for all. But unlike normal bugs you want to squish, you can't cower in a corner while someone else gets rid of it for you. (Shoutout to Anna for being my personal exterminator.) This one, this one you have to do on your own. It's not going to be easy, but it is definitely necessary. 

2. Recognize Your Humanity

This one may not be for everyone, but to me it's important. Every day, the thought crosses my mind that one day I'm going to die. I actually hate the phrase 'YOLO', but if used in the right context it could actually be extremely motivating. I know it's a morbid thought, my own eventual demise, but if you look past the morbidity you can find a reason live. You don't know when that day's going be, and neither do I. It could be today, tomorrow, or 60 years in the future. But I do know this -- I'm not going to live a life of "well, maybe tomorrow" that turns into "I really wish I did that when I had the chance." If I see an opportunity, I'm going to take it. Prime example - studying abroad. I'm very excited to announce that this Fall, I will be spending a semester in Italy studying abroad. I almost let this opportunity pass me by, but with a little nudging from some fantastic people, I'm going to take full advantage of this adventure. And, for all of you wonderful people, I'm going to create a whole new blog for while I'm there! (I promise I'll actually stick to a schedule for that one.)

But I digress. Back to the topic at hand. Another point that goes along with this subtopic is this: don't wallow in self-pity, or worry about something that happened in the past. If it happened, it happened. There's nothing you can do to change that, so you learn your lesson and move on. Time flies, people, and you don't want to be spending that precious time you have worrying about something in the past that can't be changed. Instead, spend it being happy and rejoicing in how much you've changed and grown from your past. Live every day as if it was your last.

3. Take Risks

We've all heard this before. Take risks. But just what kind of risks are we talking about here? Well, I'll tell you. You want to be taking the kind of risks that will lead you towards being your best self, regardless of whether or not you succeed. Open yourself up to new opportunities as they present themselves to you. Fall in love. Stand up for yourself, or, better yet, stand up for someone else. Speak your mind and let your voice be heard. Show your true colors -- all of them. You want to ask your crush out on a date? Do it. You want to quit the job you hate and apply yourself to something you're passionate about? There's nothing stopping you. Take this as your sign. This ridiculous, hopefully hilarious, and totally insignificant blog post you probably won't remember next month. Let it be your sign. Yes, sometimes the risks you take will not turn out the way you hoped, and that's okay. That's how you learn. One of my all time favorite quotes goes like this: "What if I fall?" "Oh, darling, but what if you fly?"

4. Embrace Change

One of the most limiting things you can do for yourself is believe that something lasts forever. Holding on to permanence will only cause you grief and stress, because everything is constantly changing. You have to be willing to go with the flow of change, to accept it and grow with it. The trick is looking forward to it, because in reality most things change for the better. If you fix yourself on a permanent idea, you'll become stuck in this rut that will only get more and more difficult to get out of. Take, for example, a relationship. If you hold on to a specific image you have of your partner (which, by the way, is the politically correct way to refer to your significant other, no matter your sexual orientation) then you won't be able to see how the relationship might be changing. In relationships, it is important to be able to recognize any kind of change in yourself, your partner, or the relationship in general. Acknowledging them could make you realize that maybe this person isn't really for you, and it could allow you to move on. If you choose to ignore the signs, and hold on to the idea of this perfect relationship, then you'll figure out a little too late just how much time you wasted being unhappy. Recognizing and embracing change isn't just important in relationships, but also in all aspects of life. Everything changes, but it's how you react to that change that shows you just what kind of person you are.

*I could go on a very important rant about culture change here, but we're just going to focus on the individual today.*

5. Happy Friends = Happy Life

If you want to be happy, you have to surround yourself with people who make you happy. Don't wake up one day to find you've been suffocated by people who are only there because they need you for one reason or another. You want to think of yourself as a magnet, attracting people who exude positivity and optimism and repelling those who bring you down. Find friends who you can be your completely goofy and weird self with. The ones who will laugh with and at you when you start doing the air guitar when you're running solely on caffeine and writing a paper at 11pm. You need people who want to go on adventures with you, even if you don't want to go at that time. Late night car rides to nowhere that likely include some kind of dessert? Yes, please. Do we pick out the most awful people at Walmart to bestow upon one another as 'soul mates'? You bet. Good friends won't judge you when you want to order an entire pizza and eat it yourself, but best friends will also bring you ice cream and put on Netflix. I could list off every cliche and saying that state what you should look for in a friend, and I wouldn't mind doing it because I find them all to be inspiring and adorable. But, I'm assuming that's not what you're reading this for. Here's the bottom line - the friends you surround yourself with have to have these three qualities. 1. They know how to cheer you up when you need it and can recognize when you're faking happiness. 2. They never judge you, but aren't afraid to tell you when they think you're wrong. 3. They push you to be your best self.

I'm incredibly lucky to say that I have not just one, but several friends who I wouldn't trade for the world because they make my life better doing exactly what I just listed above. To each and every one of you, I thank you. From the bottom of my heart and with all my soul, I love you. You keep me going. 

6. Don't Judge

One of the most important lessons I've ever learned in life, and I seriously mean ever, is to never judge anyone. If I came across a magic lamp and a genie billowed out the spout, preferably with the personality of Robin Williams, I'd ask for the following: a world without violence, equity among everyone, and a society and culture that accepts every human being. We live in the harsh reality where there is still so much hate and anger and criticism of both individuals and groups. Every day we see acts of violence and hate in the world around us or even in our own lives because people cannot accept certain aspects of one another. We judge others on race, gender, class, sexuality,  religion, career, politics, and just about all other forms of identity. Some identities we choose, other's we are born into. Yet in the face of hate, it makes no difference. When we judge other people, we make assumptions and force other problems onto others. In return, we try to do everything we can to keep from being judged ourselves. Like it or not (and I'd be very concerned if you actually did like it), both cause a ridiculous amount of stress and angst that inhibits your ability to be happy. I really can't wrap my head around the reasons why we can't let people just be people. Accepting others for their differences and their uniqueness would make our world filled with so much more positivity and love, both of which are synonymous with happiness. When we judge others based on appearances or initial assumptions, we not only miss out on possibly getting to know an incredible person who has a lot to offer, but we also make ourselves more and more close minded. I've met so many fantastic people and cultivated great friendships over the last year that I really cherish. However, I know that if I was still as judgmental as I was a few years ago, I never would have become friends with them. This saddening thought has made me very aware of just how many people I may have missed out on in the past. I would like to take this moment to say this: To anyone who may have felt judged by me in the past, I am so sorry. You are fantastic and you have all of my respect. Keep being you, because you matter and you contribute wonderful things to this world. 

In short, judge less and accept more.

7. Be Yourself

Please re-read that. Now do it 5 more times. I recommend switching off which word you put the emphasis on. (Be Yourself. Be Yourself. Be Yourself. BE YOURSELF!) It makes it more fun.
The only way you can be happy is if you are 42762108% yourself. If you really want to be ecstatic, then be 42762109% yourself. You have to be completely, inexplicably, and unapologetically you. No one else can do that, and no one else should. You're going to find out so many different things about yourself when you own up to everything you can be and all that you are. And, in case you didn't notice the theme to this blog post, you're going to be so much happier!!! In order to do this, you have to accept your flaws and embrace them. They're a part of you, and they probably aren't going to go away. But guess what? They don't need to. Are there going to be things that you want to change in order to make yourself feel better or be better? Yes. In which case, do them. Make those changes. However, some things are the way that they are and there's nothing you can do about it. Those are the pesky little flaws I'm talking about, the ones that you should wrap your arms around and say "Hey, I may not like you all that much, but we're in this together. So let's get along. P.S. I'm learning to like you."

If you pretend to be someone you're not, you will be in a world of unhappiness, and later, regret. This post is not about that. Since you made it to the end of this post, you must be genuinely interested in being happy. Good! It's either that or you find my writing enchanting. Bonus points if both are true. Either way, I'm going to reward you and let you in on a little secret that my brain told me. Originally, we were just going to keep it to ourselves, but we talked about it and decided to include you.
Okay, here it is:
All of the happiness you can ever feel, all you could ever want, is inside of you. Right now. You have all of the potential to make yourself happy in that beautiful and amazing body of yours. So reach in there, and turn on the light that will make your soul shine. I believe in you. Now it's your turn to believe in yourself.

Your buddy,
The one and only Jackie

To Be, or Nah?

Hello everyone!

I know it's been, what, 9 months?? Some of you could have conceived, carried, and birthed a child during that time. If that's the case, congrats on your new bundle of joy!! Also, I empathize with your lack of sleep.

I realize I completely dropped the ball on this blog, and to those who waited with bated breath for a new posting, I sincerely apologize. It's been quite the year, which I hope to make apparent in this post. My Fall semester, and Spring semester now that I think of it, were so swamped that I had to keep 3 different calendars so I knew what was going on at all times. On the rare occasion that I did have an afternoon off, my paranoia kicked in -- There has to be something I'm forgetting to do. What is this "free time"? What am I missing??? As I sit here at home on summer vacation, those thoughts still cross my mind. Let's get real, people....we should always be doing something. Boredom is as avoidable as it is detrimental to living.

This post may become a little lengthy, but I promise it will relate to the title of this post. Speaking of, I should probably explain it. Now, I hate to disappoint anyone who was hoping this would be some kind of Hamlet mockery (because that would actually be cool), but unfortunately it's not. This post is for all of you who are facing the scary reality of coming to the realization that the direction you thought you wanted to head in life actually needs to change it's course. For some of you, that change in direction may be just a slight bend in the road, where others may need to make a complete U-turn. Let me tell you, I know exactly how terrifying this decision can be. But I'm here to inform you that conquering this challenge is one of the most relieving and exciting moments you'll ever experience. I'll share with you one of my realizations that truly changed my life for the better, and I hope you can learn from it.

For the past 6 years, there was nothing I wanted more than to go into law enforcement. I wanted it all: the gun, the badge, the adrenaline rushes, breaking down doors, etc. People thought I was crazy. "Why would you want to put yourself in danger, and deal with the scum of the earth? Why don't you leave that to the men, and use your intelligence to become a doctor or something that actually makes money?" Believe it or not, these questions only pushed me more towards law enforcement. I had several replies to this line of questioning:
1. If we left it to the men, and they all perished in some freak accident that only killed males, then who would be left to protect the community?
2. Because it's fun!!
3. I don't care if I'm not making that much money, as long as I'm doing something that I'm passionate about and waking up excited to go to work.
4. Because every day will be something new and I'll never have to worry about being bored.
5. Don't you want someone who actually wants to protect and serve your community on the force, instead of some grumpy cop who just does it for a paycheck?

I was so excited to be pursuing a career in law enforcement and so attached to the idea of being a cop and ridding the streets of crime that I didn't realize it might not be right for me. Growing up, I had so much anger towards anything illegal, all I wanted to do was put jerks behind bars and stand up for those who couldn't stand up for themselves. Naturally, I thought being a cop would allow me to do just that. Around January, maybe even a little before, I began to get nervous. Many people had told me over the years that my personality didn't really match a cop: I'm too "sweet" and "don't have that super authoritative demeanor". Over the last year, I began to really observe that of myself as well. Yes, I love helping others and I'm really passionate about justice, but did I really have it in me to put on a stern face and make hardened criminals see me as an authoritative figure? I was so stubborn and attached to my gun-wielding, door-kicking dream that I refused to face the realization that maybe I wasn't choosing the career that would allow my personality to shine through and best use my skills. But I continued on, chasing the dream that was slowly getting farther and farther from my future reality. At the same time, I had no other alternatives of what I wanted to pursue that involved my passions/skills, and my Criminal Justice degree. Even if I didn't go into law enforcement, I knew that I still wanted to work with the criminal justice system to protect the community in some other way. However, I didn't want to think about changing my dream, so I held on as tight as possible. I ignored the signs and the self-doubts. The seed was still planted, though, and the thoughts still came: What if they're right? Is this really what I want to do?

In the middle of January, right at the start of my Spring semester, I was approached by one of my professors, who's also a lieutenant at the police department in town. He asked if I had applied for the Community Service Officer position for the PD, and I admitted that I had not. I didn't really know much about it, and since I was only a Sophomore I figured that many of the upperclassmen would have gotten first priority. He encouraged me to apply, and thought I'd be really good at it. So I did; I applied for the CSO position, if only to have the learning experience of what I was told was going to be an intense interview. It turns out, I was accepted for the internship position, where I would work 60 hours for 1 school credit, and I didn't even need to do the scary interview. I was ecstatic!! As some of you may know, I am obsessed with the television show Once Upon A Time. When I started working as a CSO, a dear friend of mine told me that I was well on my way to embracing the Emma Swan in me. If you don't get that reference, I feel really bad for you, and you're really missing out on some greatness. Anyways, I would be working in a police station alongside police officers, and getting my foot in the door for my future career. If I liked it, I could work the next two years there, and over the summers. When I graduated, I could apply to become a police officer and they would pay for me to go to the Police Academy. It was so fantastic!! I learned the 10-codes so I could communicate with dispatch on the radios; I wrote parking tickets; I was assigned some theft cases if there was no suspect involved; and performed various other tasks assigned to us so that the officers could make more important assignments their priority.

At first, I really loved it. It was so exciting to be listening to the radio and driving around in the CSO truck, performing the duties we were asked to do. The more I did it, however, the more it began to sink in that maybe this wasn't something I could do every day. There wasn't anything in specific that really stood out to me that helped me come to that conclusion, just an indescribable feeling that I began to develop. While I still put forth my 100% when I worked, I was less and less excited to go to work each day. Don't get me wrong, I loved working there and I worked with some really great people. I had a lot of fun and really enjoyed my experience as a CSO. But once I realized that law enforcement wasn't really the best future for me, I was ready to explore new opportunities.

When I initially started having my doubts, I did not want to give anyone who told me that I would change my mind about law enforcement the satisfaction of being right. Don't judge -- I'm a stubborn person, through and through. It's gotten me this far in life :) But that stubbornness was the reason I kept all my doubts and second-thoughts to myself. After all, I had no definitive reason behind the sudden change besides a feeling I couldn't even describe to myself. I also had no alternative to fall back on, besides knowing I wanted to do something with community outreach. I want to work more hand-in-hand with the community to spread awareness and prevent the crime before it even happened. I want to make more of an impact on a victim, or even stop someone from being victimized, than a cop might. So, like any college student looking for answers, I went to some of my professors. I told them what I was thinking, and asked if they knew of any jobs or organizations that did just that. Between their responses, and good ol' Google, I came to the conclusion that I may be interested in prevention education. Prevention educators go to schools, businesses, community centers, etc. to give presentations or hold workshops that spread awareness and encourage action in preventing crime. Their presentations and topics depend on what organization or program they work for, and each presentation is tailored to the audience receiving it. For example, prevention educators may educate the community on human trafficking, sexual assault, alcohol and drugs, unhealthy relationships and domestic violence, etc. Prevention educators have a passion for working with the community, with people of all ages and backgrounds, to help them avoid victimization, how to respond to a situation if it does occur, and provide them with information on programs and services that are available to those who need assistance. It sounded perfect.

I decided it was probably time to start telling people about my changed dream. I first told a few of my friends, and they were shocked. I talked about being a cop all the time, so why the sudden change of heart?? Note to self: when making future life-changing decisions, don't keep the thought process in the brain. Because when you start telling people, they will think it's a bipolar decision that you are rashly making. However, this was anything but a rash decision. My stubbornness kept me from talking about it, but I had been thinking about it for months. I did research, made pros and cons lists, and was kept up at night just thinking about it. Once I explained my whole process, they understood. The next person I had to tell was my family. I was nervous that my mom would be upset that I spent 2 years pursuing law enforcement, and that there was a possibility I would have to take summer and winter classes (which meant more money we don't have) in order to get the proper education I would need for this kind of career. But the conversation went a little like this:
"Hey Mom, can you remind me when I'm home for Spring Break next week that I need to talk to you about something?"
"What kind of something?"
"My future."
"Well, what about your future?"
"Um, well, I kinda don't really want to be a cop anymore......."
"Really?!? Yay!!!"

So that went better than expected.

With this new realization came the next fear: was my degree and experience sufficient enough for this  kind of career? Would I need some kind of psychology or social work background instead of criminal justice? Let's face it, I do not have the money to spend an additional two years at school because I changed my major half-way through my college career. So, I did additional research.  I decided it was time to contact a prevention educator and ask them for myself. There is a wonderful program through Agnesian Hospital called ASTOP, a sexual abuse center. They provide a variety of services to victims of sexual abuse and their families, and I have volunteered there a few times over the year. Their mission and values are truly inspiring, and they have made a huge impact in the community. I knew they had an awareness program and a prevention educator, so I e-mailed her and asked if I could meet with her to get some more information about prevention education and what a day in the life looked like. Courtney was thrilled I was interested in finding out more, and asked if I would want to job shadow her at two of her presentations. I readily agreed, and couldn't wait. I saw her give presentations to middle-schoolers over the course of a week. The first was a presentation on cyber bullying and sexting to a group of 7th graders, and the second was given to 6th graders about sexual assault. Having been in a catholic school since Kindergarten, I couldn't imagine how the latter presentation would be given, and I was truly amazed at how well she got the students to be engaged in the discussion. I also talked with Courtney for about an hour to ask her any questions I had about prevention education and how to pursue that kind of work. The biggest question I had was about my education, and she told me was that my Criminal Justice degree would be sufficient for this kind of work. It does depend on the individual organization as to what kind of background they work for, but she assured me that some kind of human services background would be just fine. To cover my bases, though, I added a psychology minor. So now, I'll be graduating with a Criminal Justice major, a Cultural, Media and Gender Studies minor, and a Psych minor. Shadowing Courtney was a fantastic experience, and it really reinforced my decision to veer away from law enforcement and towards something like this.

I know that was kind of a long story, but I really did try to give you the cliff-notes version. Now, I know everyone reading this won't be going through the same decision making process --to be a cop, or nah? (Get the title now??) So I'll leave you some points that can hopefully help you out if you're going through a similar process.

1. Thinking about changing your major, or your career, or the dreams of your future is 110% OKAY! You do not want to be stuck doing something that you dislike for the rest of your life. At any point in your life, you can say to yourself "hey, this really isn't making me happy" and change it. I think this would be one of the few appropriate times to say YOLO, because you have one life, and you don't want to waste it being unhappy.

2. Just like your parents tell you when you are eating, you have to try something before you know whether or not you like it. For me, it turned out that law enforcement wasn't for me. Unlike eating broccoli, I went into the CSO position thinking that I would love it. I did enjoy it, but it made me realize that it's really not for me.

3. You're going to have a lot of mixed reactions from people around you. Here's a couple I had: "I'm glad you finally came to your senses." "Really?! But I was rooting for you!" "You would have made a great cop, but it would have been a waste of your talents. I'm happy you figured this out for yourself." "I told you so." Etc. etc. Some reactions were encouraging, others not so much. But this was expected. The biggest thing to remember is that everyone is going to have their own opinion, but only you know what's going to make you happy. It's your life, so that's who's in charge of making the decisions.

4. To follow that previous point, sometimes we make the wrong decisions. We're human, we make mistakes. We also change, and a lot of times it's for the better. What we have to realize and accept is this: as we grow and change, we develop new interests. We find new things we enjoy, and get rid of what we don't. Our entire lives are a process of transformation; out with the old and in with the new. Sometimes, the new stuff isn't quite what we expected it to be, so we have to revise our plans once again and change course. This is all part of our journey, and it makes life exciting and unpredictable.

5. When planning out your future, don't make a set destination. Leave it open-ended, and allow for road blocks along the way. Most importantly, don't take directions from life's GPS. They tend to be extremely biased and don't allow for error or change. You don't want to go through your life with a little, persistent, demanding voice saying "Recalculating! Recalculating! Make the next legal U-turn!"  That would be incredibly annoying. You're the one behind the wheel, directing your life in whatever direction you choose. If you want to go left, go left. If you want to go right, then you better go right. You'll end up exactly where you need to be, and the journey will hold all the excitement. Life's one big adventure, and I bet you've never read an adventure book that starts off with the hero planning out his/her own story line (twists included).


These are just a few tips that I hope you can take away from this incredibly long post. If you made it this far, you're awesome. Thanks for reading! Speaking of reading, that's how I've decided to live out the rest of my life. Well, not reading all the time, although that would be lovely, but as if I'm writing my very own book. I don't know how it's going to end, or what the next chapter is going to be, or even what's on the next page. It's not a book that you can cheat by reading the last sentence; each second is a new word, each day a new page, each life stage a new chapter. It's your own personal novel where the plot it completely in your own hands. Better yet, you don't have to worry about critics. The only one that matters is YOU.  And the beauty of it all, the real treasure, is that you have the power to change it if you're not happy with it. So please, I beg of you, don't get bored and put down this book. And for heaven's sake, DO NOT use Spark Notes. You'll miss out on so much.


Your buddy,
Jackie